[Originally published December 23, 2010.]
At Santa’s Workshop, your privacy is important to us. What follows is an explanation of how we collect and safeguard your personal information; the kind of information we collect; and your choices regarding our use and disclosure of this information.
Why Do We Need This Information?
Santa Claus requires your information in order to compile his
annual list of Who is Naughty and Who is Nice, and to ensure
accuracy when he checks it twice. Your information is also used
in connection with delivering the kinds of goods and services
you’ve come to expect from Santa, including but not limited to
toys, games, good cheer, merriment, Christmas spirit, seasonal
joy, and holly jollyness.
What Information Do We Collect?
We obtain information from a variety of sources. Much of it
comes from unsolicited letters sent to Santa by children all
over the world listing specific items they would like to receive
for Christmas. Often these letters convey additional information
as well, such as the child’s hopes and dreams, how much they
love Santa, and which of their siblings are doodyheads.
The letters also provide another important piece of
information—fingerprints. We run these through databases
maintained by the FBI, CIA, NSA,
Interpol, MI6, and the Mossad. If we find a match, it goes
straight on the Naughty List. We also harvest a saliva sample
from the flap of the envelope in which the letter arrives in
order to establish a baseline genetic identity for each
correspondent. This is used to determine if there might be an
inherent predisposition for naughtiness. A detailed handwriting
analysis is performed as part of a comprehensive personality
workup, and tells us which children are advancing nicely with
their cursive and which are still stubbornly forming block
letters with crayons long past the age when this is appropriate.
[...]
Continua qui:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/santas-privacy-policy